Poem 4

Do I really have to be a certain way to be seen as normal?

Must I really behave and do what society tells me to do?

Why is everything expected of me?

I’m not perfect and I do not wish to be...

I just wish to be myself, to let go of the obligations, and to do as I please.

I am young, but I am grown enough to make my own choices.

What have I gotten myself into?

Why have I chosen a path that both makes me happy and hopeful, yet also makes me feel trapped?

I’m expected to be the perfect child.

They want me to be a good example for my siblings.

I barely speak to them, and yet somehow, I’m still an influence on them.

If I leave, they’ll miss the older sister that was supposed to teach them to be better.

But, If I stay, they’ll become as depressing as me.

It’s so tough being the older sister, the perfect daughter, the most decent Christian girl.

I make many mistakes.

There’s so much I do that they will never know.

There’s so much I do, that I’d rather die than to tell.

I am a horrible person, but my facade is such an angel.

A fallen angel that never wants to get up because I’m forced to deal with these obligations.