I hate you and I hate myself.
I have done stupid things, and you have taken advantage of my vulnerability.
I wish I was not so easily persuaded, and that you weren’t so pushy.
I wish I wasn’t so weak, and you so strong and powerful and mean.
If you were not so harsh, I would be so happy to be around you.
You might act all innocent and depressed, but you can’t blame your illness for what you’ve done.
You cannot say you love me, when you don’t.
A person that loves another person would ask consent first.
Only cause I’m into certain role-play does not mean I ever asked for you to play along with me.
I never did anything to try and get you to kiss me.
I never asked for you to forcefully take me.
I feared and I knew I couldn’t stop you no matter how hard I tried.
It wasn’t about the pleasure of anything because I was not actually enjoying myself.
Gosh, I just wanted it to end and I wanted to go home.
I feel so awkward around you because even though I played along that I was ok, I am hurt.
I am still in shock from your desire to take me without even asking if I was absolutely ok with it.
I hate myself for not telling to save myself.
I hate that I was too afraid to open up and tell him because I felt you’d make up a story and make me look like the bad guy.
I might’ve gone along after a while, and I might’ve stopped fighting, but what was the point?
If you were just gonna fight me harder, why would I fight anymore?
And yet you have the audacity to get pissed at me for choosing him, when in reality, I will never choose you.
That’s why I will always hate you and hate myself.
About the Creator
Gentherly Coronado
I love to write poetry, and it can be quite dark at times. One thing about all of it, is that it comes from my heart. Everything I write is based on my life, and hopefully some of my words touch someone’s heart.
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