Penning on Van Buren Street

can i just end the book already?

no, for real

can i just end the book already?

imma’ keep it real, i don’t wanna write this shit anymore

i don’t even wanna look at it, can’t stomach it

i’ll have to vomit after this

you know you’re depressed when you stop giving a shit

about the littlest things happening around you

you know you’re depressed when nothing fazes

you anymore, not even a death in the family

loss is just something i’ve come to accept

if that’s what it takes to win, then hey

no matter how many books i manage to pen

it’s not gonna bring my people together

money won’t either, i mean

that’s why we separated

no matter how many songs i record

it’s not going to get that girl i liked to love me anymore

she never loved me at all

the fuck i’m talking about?

it don’t matter none of it does

they’ll idolize me once i leave here

but don’t give a shit about me while i’m alive

fuck my existence, they’re probably wishing death upon me right now

i’m so obsessed with changing the world

i allow my personal life to willingly falter

yeah, i got hella’ talent

you could argue that

shit means nothing if i don’t know how to maintain my relationships with others

shit means nothing if i don’t know how to control my emotions

i make rash ass decisions amid chaotic states of mind

i say shit that i will later regret amid episodes of contempt

i got two sides to my personality, multiple actually

which one is which, how do i distinguish one from the other?

which mask do i put on for the world today?

i apologize for one minute, then do the same dumb ass shit the next

no wonder i’m not famous such a damn hypocrite

i don’t learn shit i’m too fucking hardheaded

no wonder my momma used to beat my ass

i bet these naysayers and haters love it when i tear myself apart like this

it makes their dicks hard and pussies wet, doesn’t it

i know ya’ll get horny over this shit probably

freakier than me, damn

a hundred books ain’t enough

two-hundred won’t be either

what will be enough for me

why do i seek more knowledge

why do i seek more skill

why do i seek more experience

is there a magnet attracting me to this

or is it all a plan from the universe?