The hold you've had on me is one I will never understand
This anxiety I feel is only instead my head and yet it has such power
I'm the one in control
So why can't I stop you
It's my own body, my own brain, and my own soul
But for some reason I can't stop
Am I addicted to the way the hurt feels?
Do the tears I cry fill the thirst of some demon greater than I
If not then why can't I make it stop
I look in the mirror and see myself but through the eyes of someone who isn't truly me
I see a reflection that I tell is beautiful, that I look at and chant that I'm worthy, that I will be ok
But you, my anxiety tricks me into thinking I'm lying to my own heart
That I am not beautiful, I am not worthy, I'll never be ok
Maybe one day I'll beat you
Or
You'll beat me
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