Opening Doors

What did I do to deserve this?

I don’t understand,

Today I put a gun in your hand.

I walked our relationship right up to the barrel,

I told you to shoot.

I gave you an emotional out.

We are in the early stages,

Our story still has blank pages.

And I come with so much baggage.

So much emotional pain.

I partly want to protect myself,

To explain;

By opening a door to you,

I give you the power to do so much damage.

Or I could harm you,

And to bear that burden, I couldn’t manage.

I don’t want to drag you into the black and white.

To be a shackle pulling you away from the light.

You precious thing, that makes me smile,

And sees the colour in this grey world.

So, I give you an out.

I apologise for myself.

A prime time for you to cut and run,

Like others have done.

But, you don’t shoot.

You get rid of the gun.

You say you want the best and worst of me,

And in that moment, colour floods my world completely.