Only 25

As I desperately juggle my multiple part time jobs against the ever flowing river of bills that continually flood into my mail box, co-parenting an autistic little man with a narcissistic asshole and loving a man that is struggling to love himself (enter heavy sigh here.) My mom pats me on the back and says four very important words to me.

"You are only 25."

So many times I have felt like I am just treading through the water and not really making anything of myself, I have gone to bed thinking that I have wasted the day and time and have worried that before I know it I'll blink and that I'll find myself in a miserable loop to old to do anything about it.

Yet my mother reminds me, that success is not necessarily the same cookie cutter life for every person. That at the end of the day our success is measured by the happiness and fulfillment in life we find when we lay our heads down one last time. She reminds me that at twenty-five years old I am still only at the start.

In my free time I design knitwear, It's a huge passion of mine (besides writing) and so many times I have tossed half finished projects feeling defeated by them as if I didn't really make anything worth keeping. "You're only 25, think of how great your work will be when you add a few more years of practice to your skill...keep going." So I keep knitting and I find the stitches faster to do and the patterns easier to read and now I'm actually starting to make a name for myself locally as a fiber artist and knitwear designer. I may feel defeated but I can already see the beginnings of success.

I also write all the time, I have since I was a little girl. I have notebooks filled to bursting piled into corners, I even recently began putting together a portfolio to become a freelance writer. "You are only 25," my mom will chime in when I toss another full notebook into the back of my closet, so many stories that have never been read by anyone. "Just think of how great of a writer you will be if you just keep going."

Sometimes we forget that we are still young after high school and college, we get lost in the cycle of working ourselves to death in the name of fitting into a box of success. How much money can we bring it, how many networking connections can we make, name dropping, bank accounts, fame on the screen etc.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that hey I'm only twenty five.