One Day at a Time

Here and now—

Tough

Perhaps more so than you think

Calming the constant swirling inside

What if? What if? What if?

Past, future, present

Present

Here and now—

Yet it persists, what will happen what is to be?

Like a mosquito buzzing in your ear

Teeth clench — telling yourself to stop

Here and now—

I am where I need to be

In this moment,

It’s like walking on wobbling legs

On ice that is starting to crack

Heart pulsing in your ears

Here and now—

I cannot change what has been done

But what will become,

Feeling as if I’m stepping off a cliff

Is the bungee cord attached?

Will I fall or will I fly?

It makes me want to break down and cry

Here and now—.

My guts are in my throat

They don’t belong there

It feels wrong

Everything has been bottled up,

Much too long

Here and now—

Baby steps

But I fear—is it far too late?

Should I resign to my fate?

The bouncing balls they need to stop

It is distressing to watch them drop

Wanting to run and pick them all up

Here and now—

It’s exhausting to be in the present

When the past hurts so much

Like an anchor it’s weighing me down

Here and now—

Finding a mantra

Repeating it slow

Que Sera Sera

The past is the past

The future is yet to be

I am here in this moment

Where I am meant to be?