On the Inside
Just a poem by yours truly. Just some more insight on my BPD.
The smell of the air has changed
The look your eyes usually carry, don’t look the same
The words you say..
They all make me think
..............................................
Then just like that
In a blink
The mood changes
Erratically
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you wouldn’t understand,
unless you were like me
One moment you can do anything
Then the next you feel like a hopeless, untalented being
......................................................................................
One moment you feel like a beauty queen
The next you feel like nothing at all
Waiting thirty minutes for a call
They must not care about me
.......................................................
I hate you
I love you
Don’t leave me
Can’t you see?
........................................
With every movement
With every word
My body forms the screams
That my lips can’t seem to let be heard
.........................................................................
This is a sneaky killer
It has no warning
It comes and goes like a silent enemy
You’d never know they were there
....................................................................
All you can do is stare blankly into the dark space
Hoping that if you avoid it, it’ll go away
Although you know, good and well that’s not the case
Peel back a layer and you’ll see only gray
............:.........................................................
You know how everything is supposed be
You know they don’t mean it that way
You know they mean you no harm
but your brain doesn’t let you have a say
It doesn’t allow you to have a say in how you feel about anything
........................:.................::::.:::.::..............................
“Relax”, you say?
My brain doesn’t know what that means
Everyone thinks they know the answers
to why you are, who you are
.....................................................................
The truth is, you’ll never know
and for me to know some, means I’ve come very far
but I only think I know
because any moment my brain could say “sike!”
..............................................................................
and then I’m back where I started
I’m left feeling empty
The person I once thought I was
Has once again departed
About the Creator
Lyndsie Jines
Sharing intelligent conversations
Poetry
Also known to remember things that could have been said, but realizes it’s too late to add anything because too many have already read it.😂
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