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On the Inside

Just a poem by yours truly. Just some more insight on my BPD.

By Lyndsie JinesPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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The smell of the air has changed

The look your eyes usually carry, don’t look the same

The words you say..

They all make me think

..............................................

Then just like that

In a blink

The mood changes

Erratically

.............................................

you wouldn’t understand,

unless you were like me

One moment you can do anything

Then the next you feel like a hopeless, untalented being

......................................................................................

One moment you feel like a beauty queen

The next you feel like nothing at all

Waiting thirty minutes for a call

They must not care about me

.......................................................

I hate you

I love you

Don’t leave me

Can’t you see?

........................................

With every movement

With every word

My body forms the screams

That my lips can’t seem to let be heard

.........................................................................

This is a sneaky killer

It has no warning

It comes and goes like a silent enemy

You’d never know they were there

....................................................................

All you can do is stare blankly into the dark space

Hoping that if you avoid it, it’ll go away

Although you know, good and well that’s not the case

Peel back a layer and you’ll see only gray

............:.........................................................

You know how everything is supposed be

You know they don’t mean it that way

You know they mean you no harm

but your brain doesn’t let you have a say

It doesn’t allow you to have a say in how you feel about anything

........................:.................::::.:::.::..............................

“Relax”, you say?

My brain doesn’t know what that means

Everyone thinks they know the answers

to why you are, who you are

.....................................................................

The truth is, you’ll never know

and for me to know some, means I’ve come very far

but I only think I know

because any moment my brain could say “sike!”

..............................................................................

and then I’m back where I started

I’m left feeling empty

The person I once thought I was

Has once again departed

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About the Creator

Lyndsie Jines

Sharing intelligent conversations

Poetry

Also known to remember things that could have been said, but realizes it’s too late to add anything because too many have already read it.😂

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