Oh Paddy!

A man of short and hair on face

Left his house one day

And running late he seek to rush

To hurry without delay.

But day of rain it had turned out

And wet the ground become.

So in a puddle his legs raised up

And he landed on his bum.

Now sitting on the parallel road

Aimed for carless folk,

A vehicle passed by sitting water

And gave him one good soak.

Mopped from top to bottom he sighed;

He slowly himself tried to lift

But squawking above him the bird took aim

And dropped on him a small gift.

Now truly wet and egged on too

His day it was not to be

As walking by the poodle saw him

And lifted his leg to pee.

As if it could not be worse, the cyclist passed

His eyes to be elsewhere

And not looking down he hit our friend

To go flying through the air.

A cracked rib and violated he was

Our friend turns to sit

But sends his hand so gently down

On a pile of dog bits.

Now cursing allowed, a blind man came

Unaware into the oncoming space

In doing so he searched with his stick

Smacking our friend in the face.

Now down and out and stinking too

Is it fair to moan

When along comes Bill and picks him up

And into a cell is thrown?

After some time he lifts his lids

To see a room of men

And whispering to himself he says

‘Oh Paddy! Not again!’