//Like a baseball bat against a windshield you swung/
and swung/
and swung/
at my chest/
until it was so broken it could no longer guard my insides/
You took advantage of my disillusioned exposure/
And decided to rearrange my numbing parts/
You organized me to fit into your box labeled acceptable/
With everything in its perfect place/
we shared a make believer's love/
When my heart began to beat out of place/
Devastating panic corrupted your vision/
You perceived me as a threat to your unreachable romance/
And in response attacked, unyielding/
The anxiety your reign impregnated my thoughts with/
Became detrimental to my well being/
Malicious acts against myself mutated into habit/
You found reform in days of silence/
I promise you nothing fucked me up more than your intentional ignorance of my existence/
The words this is normal/
I need this/
He loves me/
Repeated over/
And over/
And over in my moldable mind/
Until I convinced myself that this was true/
That this was happiness/
But I always played the victim, you the detective/
You wore a hideous uniform of doubt/
I groveled at your feet to change/
As a compromise, I draped my body over yours to hide the doubt you wore/
In a moment of disastrous desperation/
I cut my heart out, and offered in exchange, trust/
Perplexed, you put it back in its place and closed the box/
Leaving me and my unstable organ to slowly drain/
It's funny now, how something so vital to our existence, ends up pumping our lives away//
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