Not What I Envisioned

I swear I'm trying

But it's never good enough

I try and I try

But I feel like giving up

Complain and whine

Aggravated and a burden

The pain seeps through my veins

Tilt the bottle back and hit the bourbon

These hurdles in life are not what I signed up for

But they are what I have been given

Patience is a virtue

And my virtue is ridden

Ridden with the demise of a life not envisioned

This pain all over my body

Eating me alive

And though I won't die

It feels like I won't survive

I just want it to end

Take the hurt away

Take away the decay

Let me move as I should

Feel as I should

Let my words not be misunderstood

I just want to live