My Stain

I mourn for someone who is still breathing

I loved him, the one whom never existed

I built a life on a lie like it was solid as stone

The truth that our lives together was only smoke from a flame

just another joke some kind of sick game

The pain of the past stays with me so fresh

making me want to leave this place, shed this flesh

I’m stuck, frozen in this limbo between feeling like everyone I love and hold dear would be better of if I just weren’t here, and being strong enough to keep it to myself and not pass it along

These are the thoughts hurting my grieving brain

This is my struggle. My heart. My stain