My Secret

The depression inside is too hard to hide.

I cut myself to feel the pain rise within. You say I'm just doing it for attention, I say nothing because it doesn't matter, your thoughts of me won't change, but did you ever stop to think I'm this way of how I was raised? I will lay in bed all day long thinking of those thoughts I buried for so long, all I would want is to be alone because nothing you say will make me feel at home. The thoughts will get so overbearing, I must find something sharp, because at least the pain I feel is real. I will go down line by line on the outside of my right thigh. Crying with all of these tears I look in the mirror, I ask myself "why?" but of course I get no reply, I ask myself who have I become? I've become so numb with the pain running down my leg I just stare with my makeup all over my face slowly sitting down feeling more calm quickly wrapping up my leg and hiding my utensil. I leave my room as if nothing even happened, because what's on my mind won't leave until next time.