My Own Worst Enemy

Own Worst Enemy.

They say bad things they happen...

They happen in three’s.

I wish that someone could of told this year that...

Before it rained down so much shit upon me.

It all began with an unexpected broken heart.

It sucker punched me so hard I hit the ropes.

My legs were shaking but I was on my feet.

My mind desperately clinging to hope.

Then rushing through my days in a pitiful daze.

I had an accident at work and lost my sight in my eye.

As it flooded for a while I had truly lost my smile...

I finally ran out of tears but gave up for a while.

After a week although I felt weak...

I returned to work.

Driving home arguing with my daughter as the adult I really not ought to.

Something she said hit a nerve and hurt.

As my frustration grew before I knew...

The van suddenly broke down.

We were stranded, she was in tears, I felt the last of my positivity disappear.

As I slammed the door and fell to the ground.

Things were truly a mess for a self-employed man I confess...

But I muddled through and sorted it all out.

Until a complaint at work covered me in unwashable dirt...

And filled me with low confidence and more doubt.

I lost hundreds of pounds but what hurt so much more...

Was this feeling of fear and worry that has taken over more than ever before.

Anger and bitterness had made their selves at home within me.

No matter how hard I tried I just could not see.

A light at the end of the tunnel this time...

I felt like I was sinking and no one would throw me a line.

My frustration and anger was my very own downfall.

As I flew my fist in rage through my living room wall.

My breathing was so rapid my chest so tight.

In this confusion I realised that I had lost my sight.

To all I still had and how I was so very blessed.

I had played the victim and allowed myself all of this stress.

The bad luck that I had attracted was all of my own hands.

I placed the blame on others and failed to understand.

That you attract what you give and I was giving out so much negativity.

Feeding my own misfortunes I had become my Own Worst Enemy.

Through my 36 years of this life I have learnt you cannot receive with a fist clenched tight.

Anger, Frustration, Bitterness and Spite goes hand in hand with every Demon's delight.

As I opened my hands and my chest began to heave I was able to once again receive.

A feeling that had become so estranged from me since I had become my Own Worst Enemy.

There is a Peace and Beauty always there for you and I to feel and to see.

If we can only remember that all we need is the will to set ourselves free.

So take this message from a soul who has understanding and sympathy.

Please do not become your Own Worst Enemy.