My Own Fear

Words aren’t enough

to let sorrow escape

so I hope that tears

will ease the pain.

To let it go out

and empty me out

in the deafening silence

only my heavy breath breaks.

The ache is intense

sharp and deep

and leaves behind

a bleeding heart.

Alone and affraid,

I’m lost in my thoughts.

My mind is a cacophony

of feelings and fears.

Each day, drowning

deeper and deeper

in my own wide

and endless darkness.

I try but fail

to reach the surface.

Need for air so intense

I still die a little more.

The bleeding doesn’t stop

and fills my emptiness.

Infusion of my soul

with darkened thoughts.

I kiss my demons

and dance with them.

I grab their hands

and let them guide me.

I follow my shadow,

making my path

to the darkened world

on the other side.

My demons are

who I am now.

They infuse my mind,

my heart and my soul.

The screams inside me

and the voices intermingled

A madness growing

silently within me.

I was entirety once,

I am now pieces.

I crave for unity,

I long for understanding.

The pain still bleeds,

Empty, I was.

Yet my fears and my pain

now fill me within.

The dance is endless,

my demons are my partners,

and they make me feel

at home and secure.

Who am I now ?

Only a shadow

unable to feel

not even pain.

I try to get up

no strength remains.

Hope vanished long time ago

I became my own fear.