My Mom Was A Drugged Out Beauty Queen

I was born into your world of drugs, noise, deceit,

And confusion.

I never understood why you loved drugs more than me

Drugs came first

Boyfriends came second

Stealing from me was so easy

Lies instilled in your eyes

Popping pills down your throat

Parties ‘til dawn

You were so far gone

I had to go to school in the morning

I shook you and shook you

Thinking you were dead

Until your eyes opened

Then shut them again

I walked myself to kindergarten class

Only to be harassed

I was tripped, followed, teased,

And made fun of

While you slept off your drugs and alcohol

Not knowing where I was at all

The only side I ever saw of you was selfishness

And betrayal

As I grew older

Your disease became bolder

Smoking crack and meth

Snorting pills, chewing on fentanyl

Smoking weed, drinking increased

Swallowing Suboxone, Methadone,

Even Trazadone

The list is to long, oh even

Heroin

Overdosing many times

Even try suicide

Seizures, fits of rage, zoning out,

Hallucinations filled your head, so

Many times I’d thought you’d

Be dead

Narcan brought you back to life

Flowing through through your veins

You’d think it sink into your brains

You never showed me any love, no kisses

Or hugs

All you cared about was scoring more

Drugs

I held such a grudge until the day

You passed away.