My Last Cigarette of the Night

At home with a wait

You drive and I wake

The morning light is blinding so I reach for your suitcase to find something to help preserve my sleep that's at stake

We fall asleep together and apart

A second to restart

Your phone ringing is synonymous with the ringing in my head and my heart

Your thigh in my hand

Your low ponytail on the tip of my nose

It's an intense feeling but somehow I'm calm and composed

And the wind has picked up and my makeshift ashtray blows to the side

My last cigarette of the night. Or my second last

I can't decide

I won't decide

I'll fall asleep on the couch

I'll wake up

I'll wrap myself in your blanket that I asked my mother not to wash.

And as you are driving to Baltimore, and the rush of the air is coming through my phone speaker much clearer than your voice, I still smile because I know how much you like to hear the sound of mine.