Poets is powered by Vocal creators. You support Andrew Stem by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Poets is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

My Inner Demons and My Broken Soul

#TreeTrunk

My deepest darkest thoughts on paper....

We’re just broken people

healing broken people

Monsters under my bed 

Became monsters inside my head 

eating away at my broken soul

The weight on your chest

The scream with no sound 

The cry with no tears 

The emptiness

The heart breat 

Over and over again

When will this end 

When will laughter and light fill these cracks once more 

When will 

The Weight be lifted 

The sound be heard 

The tears fall

And the heart be whole again


Drained 

Physically

Mentally 

Emotionally

Drained

The years have passed

In a constant battle 

Oh how my kingdom 

Has exponentially fallen 


As the dark thoughts Flow 

From the depths of my mind 

I’ve grown cold and bitter 

Since the dawn of time 

Maybe the problem 

Was never them

What if all this time it was 

Me

My inner demons became my best friends 

The more I wrote 

The less they terrified me

My blood hot

Boiling hot

Like a teapot ready 

To explode

I fall deaf to the 

Laughter

And blind to the 

Smiles

The deeper I get into my thoughts 

The faster the world around me 

Disappears 

Depression is my worst enemy

Medication

Too many to count 

Too many to take 

Feeling less and less

In control

Why did I even trust you 

With my heart

When you couldn’t even get your 

Eyebrows right

I begged you to stay but like a door mat 

You walked all over me when you left

I hyped you up

You let me down

I held you high

You left me low

Expressing the darkness 

That flourishes within is 

Exhausting 

Alone and afraid

That I will never 

Find my way

Back home

Everyday I wake 

Speechless and in shock

Tourtured by the same damn nightmare

Lord please make this stop

Release my soul 

From the depths of hell

In this toxic and pitiful life

Another restless night 

Under these hazy red lights 

Still wishing for the end 

To be in sight

Catastrophic thinking

Always living in the extreme

As the rope gets tighter 

Gasping for air

All of my problems are gone now

No longer in despair

Scattered thoughts 

And

A fragile heart

The last words 

I said to you 

Still haunts me

So much for my soul to take

All this loss 

Can’t seem to catch a break

The tears don’t fall anymore

But I still feel empty

Here’s to the nights I lie awake 

Drowning in my thoughts

My masks became jail cells

Struggling to keep my demons down

The blood racing down my arm

The cold chills

Life slowly fading away

Sulking over life

24/7

Constantly contemplating death 

By knife

I’m allergic

To true love

It’s time for me to go 

Planning my great escape

Don’t know what I’m doing here

I was such a mistake

Over exposed 

And 

Vulnerable

Constantly breaking down 

Like an old truck

With a clueless mechanic

Stuck in this fantasy

Of life being grand 

Pushing away reality 

Cause I’m not really a fan

Made the mistake of 

Changing the alphabet

Trying to put U before I

Thinking you’d be my 

Ride or die

Shackles

Bread and water 

Prison doesn’t scare me 

When I’m already dead inside 

You tore me apart 

Like a present on Christmas morning

My smile 

As fake as the 

Love you said you had for me 

I live in this box 

Walls sky high

I prefer solitude 

Cause y’all a fucking lie

As I grew older 

I became Superman

Saving people from their demons 

Even though mine were kryptonite 

More time or more money 

Can’t I have both

Guess I’m shit outta luck 

Half dead and nearly broke 

I wear a million masks

Each a bit different 

All for the same cause

I’m 22 not two 

Why am I still afraid 

Of darkness

Just as in on an uphill climb 

I get caught in a landslide

Once more thrown around by my thoughts

With the mud and rocks 

Tears mix with ink on this lonely page

Fading out the words my heavy heart carries

It’s easier to go back to what we’re used to 

Even though

We know it will hurt us in the end

Have you ever been scared to fall asleep

Scared that your demons will find it’s way 

To suck you into the depths of your soul 

Where there is no light and no hope

Death is nearing now 

I can hear him calling my name 

Come closer my love, come home to me 

Let go of your worries 

Come be at peace

For months you were the one that got away

Holding the blame within 

But that flame is gone now 

And I have something to say

How about 

Fuck you and have a nice day 

Fists clenched

Heart facing 

In a constant battle 

Between me and my anger

He’s navigated the toughest of seas before 

But this time is so different 

When the seas became a metaphor for his thoughts

And the creatures of the deep became the demons of his soul

How can I carry the team when I can barely carry myself 

The curtains are closed 

My progress fades away

Healing seems impossible 

I’m to far gone all I can to is pray

The memories 

Are stuck on repeat 

I wasn’t the first soul you’ve destroyed 

And it sickens me that it won’t be your last

Relapse after relapse

Storm after storm

A vicious cycle 

Of never ending pain

Trapped in this box

Heavy chairs and 24 hr supervision

My mind unstable Andy body empty

Cold barrel pressed under my chin

In a heated debate 

Between me, myself and I

Broken and confused

Just quite done with All this bullshit

Cold sweats at 2 AM

My pillow gasping for air 

As my grip grows tighter 

And a puddle of tears 

To start the night

I long for the ambitions I had 

For a career I sent downrange

Can’t erase the pain 

when it’s written in stone

The roses are dead 

The violets are thru

And just like the flowers in my garden 

Our love is dead and thru

Over compromising and under compensated

The story of giving my last dime 

And receiving nothing 

Not even their time

Loyal to a fault 

Loyal to you way more than myself

How could I be so stupid to live for you

Instead of for me

You were focused on winning the argument

Not focused on the facts 

My feelings never matter

Cause you stabbed me in the back

I drink and drink

Till my problems fade away

Waking up with a headache

And my problems here to stay

You broke a promise 

You fed me lies 

I fell head over heals

But you stole my heart 

And left me to die

I blame you for my insecurities

Why I can’t love 

And push people aside 

Though our love was toxic 

And we could barely breathe 

I will still love you

Till the end of time

In my feelings tonight 

Preparing for war

It’s not even midnight yet 

And I’m already in a storm

One day a helpless victim

The next a heartless killer

Denial, regression and repression

We’re my answers 

Because being unhealthy 

Was easier

In such a rush to grow up thinking the grass was greener on the other side 

The days got harder and the nights got longer

Ramen became a staple and the bills got tight

The stress got high and depression set in

Daydreaming of the green open fields of my past

The madness still lingers in my

Mind 

Body 

And fingers

Now Reading
My Inner Demons and My Broken Soul
Read Next
A Poor Person's Dream