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My Heart Aches

A Past Friend

By Brianna ValenzuelaPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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August 29, 2018

To who I once knew,

I heard a song that reminded me of you. The lyrics said you regret hurting me, but those aren’t your words. You did dedicate it to me, in a way, I remember. It was mostly for her though. The one I could, and would, never amount to. She was perfect for you. It was stupid of me to believe that I could live up to your expectations.

I think of you, yes, but no emotion comes from it except hurt. Two years and this pain doesn’t cease. What will it take til you bleed out of my veins? Communication isn’t a possibility; you’d never allow it. I wish you the best, but that’s all I can do; doing anything else would be absurd. I’m tempted to, very much so. Your profile was one click away at one point but I knew what lied behind it: bitterness. It’s the only language you know when I talk to you.

I told him of you. He took it well. I didn’t put much emphasize on how much you had meant to me. I didn’t want to scare him off by telling him how much I loved you. After all, we’re not friends anymore. I wanted to tell him though. I wanted to say how heart broken I was when you left me, but then he’d think I still loved you. By the way I talk of you, he might be right. He’s not though. I loved you, and that was once upon a time.

Fairytales only last so long until you see the harsh reality. You saw it much sooner than I did. My haze has yet to entirely fade. I’m lost in our memories, but it has nothing to do with you. I need security you once gave, and whether it be him who will give it to me, or someone else, is when I’ll allow myself to let you go. I need to make sure that next person I fall in love with doesn’t reflect you, it might be the reason as to why I continue to yearn for you; for the sake of security and familiarity. Time will soon end it though, and I along with it.

Sincerely yours,

A former friend

heartbreak
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