Poets logo

My Heart

Pain

By LeeLee ByrdPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
Like

My heart is heavy and filled with pain

I know for a fact my life will never be the same

I tried figuring out why he would take you from me

Den I start to cry to realize your soul was tired and its more for it to see

I will never forget sitting on yo lap as a little girl

Staring out the window while u read your paper lookin at the world

Every Friday you would play mj bad album on the record player and we would dance all night

My mom would b in the kitchen cooking dinner for us n I swear that happiness had me higher den a kite

I will forever hear your laugh and see your face

Jus knw nobody could ever take your place

I CNT be selfish I had you for 32yrs

But I'm jus a baby and wish u cold come back n wipe my tears

I never tried to imagine wat life would be like without you

I figured you would always be here forever no matter what I went threw.

I worked myself so hard to provide and make you proud

I did what you did for me jus ta see you smile

You always told me to be good and listen to my mother

Even when and if she is wrong u taught me there will be no other

I go in your room everyday jus knowing you'll be dere

And then reality kicks in and its the worst pain I swear

I know you dnt want me crying or lashin out at anyone

But no one was there for me when our troubles begun

I'm trying to be strong and be the person you raised me to be

But its not easy knowing you want b here to tell me you proud of me

I cont to drink coffee n donuts every morning like we use to do

I even watch channel 9 news and yo paper is on da stoop

You were suppose to be here to walk me dwn the aisle

Now its Something I dnt ever wanna do Cuz I wnt b able to see your smile

You blessed me with something most women dnt have

A loving caring man who was a great provider and could always make us laugh

92yrs old you lived a long full adventurous life

But my selfishness and anger wants you here and I'm so full of spite.

I worked 12hr days to make a better life for my son

You would tell me everyday to slow down and take care of myself because I wld leave the house lookin like a bum

I let my career take over my life

Instead of taking advantage of things god put in my sight

Its so much I had planned for us to do

Like the daddy daughter dance I jus wanted to go with you

I wanted to take you to a Bengals game cuz u missed the one when I was born,

Even though u told me they was garbage I still knew we wld have fun.

I was there everyday and everynight too,

Even when u cursed me out about your cold coffee because that's wat I was suppose to do

I wld get so upset when u wanted to finish your show before your bath

Until u understood I cld pause it and u cld cont watching but u still give me sass.

I blame myself for the things that happen

And every since u left me I see u in my dreams with no caption

Everyday my anger is harder to deal with

U were 1 of the 3 ppl I knew who loved me unconditionally and I didn't have to question it

Everybody is telling me to be strong

But this strong has become weak

I have officially hit rock bottom and god is all I have to seek

The tears will never stop

My heart will never heal

I dnt know wat to do anymore

I dnt know how to feel

I'm going to remain silent because I feel its best,

Your not here anymore for me to cry to u and lay in your chest.

The world will never know how much I am in pain jus knw my heart is broken and it will never feel the same..

Love you always Daddy.your baby girl Khalilah

heartbreak
Like

About the Creator

LeeLee Byrd

32 year old single mother just trying to stay above water .

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.