Poets logo

Moving On

A Series of Poems

By Renae NeedhamPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
Like

It's raining as I leave

The sky pouring out her heart

To nourish the earth below

It makes me think of you

How I cried so many tears

Poured out my own heart

To nourish the scorched love that you left behind

I'm leaving as so many have left before

But the difference is I'll always come back

I wanted so desperately for the little plus sign to appear

Desperate to find a reason to make you come back to me

Desperate enough to throw my dreams away just so I could be held by you one more time

But maybe there's a bigger plan out there for both us

Maybe we don't belong together

Maybe I'll be okay with that

But I hope that one day you show up at my door unannounced but not unwelcome

I'll hold you and all the things that are broken will be put back together

But maybe I'm looking for something in you that will never be there

Maybe what I'm looking for in you is buried deep inside me and I just need to find it

They say if you love something to let it go if it comes back then it is yours

But I'm afraid to let you go because I'm terrified you won't come back

And then it comes rushing in like flood waters

The depression

The insecurity

The voices in my head saying that you aren't good enough telling me that I will fail

But I refuse to let my past conquer my future

I'm letting go of it all and letting life in

Allowing my mind and heart to be open to new possibilities

Absorbing the world around me

I refuse to be scared of the ghosts of my past

I don't know why I'm searching for your face in a sea of strangers

I still get butterflies when your name pops up on my phone

When I left exactly one month ago your name was still stuck on my lips

Your shape still stuck in my mind

And I still craved every piece of you

But now I’m free

I had to get away to see

Had to see that you and I aren’t meant to be

It was him that showed me I could move on

It was him that helped make the memory of you become long gone

It was him that held me when I was lonely

It was him that helped me move on happily

I have to thank you

Thank you for being my friend

Thank you for holding me all those nights

Thank you for not pushing the boundaries

Thank you for not sleeping with me even tho I wanted you too

Thank you for showing me there was more to life than him

Thank you for showing me my heart isn’t completely closed off

Thank you for helping me realize that I could be happy with myself

Thank you for not judging me

Thank you for not asking questions

Thank you for making me feel like I belong

And most importantly...

Thank you for being you

Tonight will be the first night without you and it’s strange to me how easy everything was...

I didn’t doubt I didn’t worry and honestly I wasn’t concerned about whether or not it would work. I just loved each day for what it was and god I loved it.

I loved the whole month I spent out there and I want that to be my life all the time. I’ve never been tied down to one place...it’s the people that make a place home for me. And I can’t wait to see you again. And I’m not jealous of anyone else because I know you want me too...so what if you spend time with someone else because in the end I know you’ll come back to me and I can’t tell you how that makes me feel...my last relationship was the best and worst thing that happened to me and it destroyed me but you made me forget, you reminded me how easy it could be. Yeah maybe you are a little lost, but that’s okay because I am too. I love to take care of people and you know how to take care of me...you held me that night when all I wanted to do was sit and cry and when I was stressed you distracted me and made me forget my troubles. Very few people would’ve done that for me. And yeah maybe we won’t end up together in that way but I know I have found a forever friend.

Tonight I feel lost

Tonight I feel like the words can’t form

heartbreak
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.