How do you know when you have finally gone crazy?
Is it the obsession with cleaning?
Or the desire to hurt yourself?
Or the voices in your head?
The voices that tell you who you are going to be today?
The voices that tell you to get on that train
Going to a place you have never heard of.
Telling you to run away from everything.
Go and live on the streets for a bit,
You will be fine.
No one would notice if you were gone for a few days.
Maybe the voices are telling you to cut off all of you hair
Or change your wardrobe
Or pierce your nose so no one can recognise you.
The voices that want you start your life again.
And you don’t push them away
Because they are talking sense.
It is perfectly clear that what you have been doing up till now is wrong
So you need to change to change everything.
But you don’t like change but you crave it.
You panic and suffocate in your bed sheets and try to cry
But the only time you can cry is when you are reminded of him.
And how he would still love you if you hadn’t have
Changed.
The world is so fucking small.
You can’t go anywhere without seeing someone you know.
You can’t walk anywhere without being constantly reminded of what could have been.
So the voices tell you to get out.
Run away.
Leave.
And you listen to the voices because even though change is what ruined everything for you.
You know that one final change could change everything.
You listen to the voices not because they are scary or threatening.
There is only one voice
And it is your own.
And as mother always said: you know what is best for you.
About the Creator
Charlie Miller
Start out poet, artist and director
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