Monster

I stand completely frozen. I stand in the doorway watching as this monster demands my sister to fall to his demands and desires.

I hear his menacing voice boom through the one bedroom apartment as he curses at her. Suddenly a thud. I run to the sound, unsure of what I am going to discover.

What am I supposed to do? Think, think, think. You've thought about this exact situation over, and over again. Think, think, think.

"I will protect her. I'll push him away or I'll call the police." I told myself in preparation.

My family knew. My dad, my sisters, my brother, my aunts and uncles. We all knew what happened when the door closed.

Why did I have to be here at this exact moment. Why me? Ignorance is bliss, God why am I here for this? Of course I can't ignore this.

Sharing nervous stares, standing in the doorway, tears welling up in my eyes. I see the fear written all over her face.

"Is everything okay..?" I ask trying to hide the quivering in my voice. "Yes its fine Jane, we're fine." She tries to regain her stance to make me believe her. I don't.

I walk away. Ignorance is bliss Jane, be ignorant.

"I am leaving. If you need anything please call me. I love you." I say to her avoiding eye contact. I can't hold back the tears if I have to look at her again.

I drive away, fast. Anger takes my body over. I melt into an overwhelming panic attack. How could I just walk away like that? I pull over unable to drive any farther. I should've done more.

I think about my sister.

Sister, where have you gone? Where has the soul of my twin gone to?

Surely, this is not her. This is not the sister I grew up knowing. The one who radiated resilience. Who jumped up after falling, who laughed off a scratch or bruise, who fought back in a wrestling match between each other, and who never stopped smiling.

No, this is no longer my sister. It can not be. This is a shell of a person I once knew, but no longer recognize.

Who was this person I saw cowering in fright?

When he pushes her down, she stays on the ground. When he punches her, she apologizes for causing it. When he chokes her, she leaves your hands to her side. I do not see that smile anymore. Where has that beautiful contagious smile gone?

This monster stole everything from my sister.

I want my sister back. I want to stand up. I want to defeat the monster. I want to see her smile again.

For now I will catch my breath, turn my car back onto the road, and I will remain blissful.