Moments I Remembered

“The Moments I Remembered I Was Depressed,"

When I drove to pick you up from the airport and had a panic attack, so you had to drive us home anyway

When I cried in the bathroom for my whole 50-minute class period

When I wasn’t thankful for anything this year at the dinner table

When I wished my own test results would come back positive

When I dropped out of school

When I was angry at you, rather than happy, for finding someone that loved you

When you touched my thigh without me wanting you to

When I stopped taking the pills 'cause what’s the point anyway?

When I wish I had enough money to go back to my therapist

"And the Moments I Forgot”

When I got wine drunk with my childhood friends and danced to electronic dance music all night long

When I saw my best friend in her wedding dress for the first time

When I got stoned and had a conversation with my dog in a Russian accent

When I do face masks at sleepovers with my best friends

When my first story got published

When I was able to keep a job for more than three months

When I talk to a person I like, and Bon Iver starts to play in my head

When you and I laid a blanket out at the park and looked at the stars until the sprinklers came on

When you first kissed me in the elevator at school

When the boy in the elevator asked for my number because he thought I was pretty

When I was no longer too anxious to drive my own car