Mom

I want to take a moment

Stop and focus

On what matters most

And lives move on

But time stopped cold

When I read your name engraved in stone

Finality

The end

La fin

I had to believe it

But I couldn’t resist

Pretending you weren’t gone

And life hadn’t moved on

Without you

After you

That warm summer afternoon

The worst day of my life

Because you were the best part of my life

The reason I existed

But in the blink of an eye

You were gone

And I was missing

You

Missing something in my brain

The reason to breathe

And the reason to stay

Alive

I couldn’t fight

But I couldn’t pretend

And all of these feelings

They felt like the end

La fin

Finality

But my story didn’t follow yours

Like reality

I didn’t succeed

Unlike you

And I wonder sometimes

Was it me

Was it my life

You didn’t like

And I know that’s not true

But it feels like it is

And I can't help but wonder

Why would you leave your kids

We loved you

And I thought you loved us too

But your brain forgot

When you did that

When everything went black

There were not thoughts

Just an escape

Away from your own pain

But what about mine

What about the children you left behind

My thoughts hurt too

But I couldn’t go through

I couldn’t succeed

Unlike you

In reality

But I'm glad

That my plan didn’t work

Because that end

Isn’t going to be my last word

I'm going to struggle

And cry

And probably want to try again in the future

When life gets too hard

And I'm too hurt

But I'll make it through

I can do this

With you