Mirror

I'm scared to look in the mirror and see the truth.

See the shattered reflection staring back at me. See the pain of the young boy that was never healed. The fear of a teenager that was instilled. The mistakes of an adult that won't go away. I'm scared to look in the mirror and see the truth. See the truth of a failing man. Failing at love, family and friends. Failing at jobs, hope and dreams. I've failed all my life so what makes me think now I can succeed. That after all these years I can find the real me and fly like the dove I was suppose to be. For 25 years I been failing and now I'm searching for an answer, searching for the truth. Because I feel that there has to be more to this life than working a 9 to 5 staying black and waiting to die. There just had to be more to life and more to me. I don't want to be that shy little boy scared of society. Holding on to the anger that my life gave me. Holding on to the screams of father beating mother, uncle on top of me and kids bullying me. I don't want to hold on to the tears I cried night after night. Or the suicide thoughts that haunt my life. There has to be more because when I look in the mirror all I see are the broken pieces of a man. Trying to glue it all back together but no matter how much glue I use the cracks are still there. The pain, hate and hurt is buried so deep that they will follow me to my grave. And I will still be scared to look in the mirror and see the truth