Mind Ticks

I wish to be finally over this soul bronchitis

But it's funny because as much as I hate it

it also ignites this:

Drive in myself to be a better driver of the mind I can't contain

But I'd rather park it in a safe space and go for a jog—call me insane

But if I leave it there for a moment I can almost break free

of these hands grasping; they're blind

they couldn't handle being able to see

Their hands made up

Of my own twisted thoughts

That I can never make a mark in this world

Because even a dent wouldn't be BIG enough

Big enough to see or big enough to feel

Just a tire mark in an empty lot

But it's fine they say it's no big deal

Well excuse me for not playing deal or no deal with Howie

But How are we

supposed to pretend life is a game show with how messed up this place can be?

If it's fine by you then define me and fine me for it not being fine to me

This is not a game

This is not a show

This isn't a cardboard box

With marinates

Of people that you know

This isn't a stage play

Playing pretend

Life matters

The words you say matters

That's the message I try to send

I leave my brain so my heart isn't restricted on what it feels

I'm fully aware thoughts are helpful but not when they lie to you what's real

My soul is sick with sniffles and coughs

Mind tricks are mine ticks and in turn -

turns into wind up clocks

And the ticking is enough for anyone to go crazy

But no one can hear it

so no one can save me

And before I know it those hands I mentioned before

complete the face of the clock

It isn't pretty because it's anything but me

And it's all I see nonstop

I found in my minds eye the key

It'll free me just enough

don't turn it tho

I'm already wound up

I'll take the time and times it

Rework my mind and rewind it

Till the only way to find it

Is to take my time.... and not to mind it