Mind, Heart, & Soul

HEART:

I pushed on the slumber so I could be with you longer

I haven’t dreamed about you since you were my lover

Why are you just now coming to bother?

I just started to not miss you as much

Now these dreams have me craving your touch

Have me craving how your mind has changed

Have me craving everything that’s not the same

I know we weren’t meant to be then

But the differences we’ve made could have a different plan

God I hate my mind for doing this

You were almost out of it and now

here I am going through it

It’s not fair just how fast you forgot me

Was it inside her where you lost me?

I try not to think of the promises we made

I tried and tried to get you to fade

I think of you every time I find someone new

I never feel that instant connection like I did me and you

It’s like all of a sudden our walls crumbled together

And we didn’t even try to pick up the pieces because we already felt better

In my dreams you’ve come off as rude

That’s my coping way of remembering you

MIND:

Although it’s true it’s true

Heart what are you doing she can’t go back

HEART:

But maybe to conclude

MIND:

NO, she was on the right track

HEART:

Then why is she dreaming of her

MIND:

TO PROTECT, to keep showing her the hurt so in the long run she’s not upset

HEART:

Just let them kiss in her minds darkness

MIND:

NO she’ll remember the good times not the dark bits,

There’s no need to rewind

If she wanted her now, she’d send a text

HEART:

But what if that’s what she thinks about her

MIND:

NO she’s in love with another girl

HEART:

That can’t be no, she left me with hope, said she doesn’t know what the years will bring but right now, nope

MIND:

It’s been two years since she felt anything for you, are you really hanging on for her to adore you?

She’s moved on, has nothing to show you. You’re not even part of her thoughts shouldn’t this be something you already knew?

HEART:

I know it, I know it, I do.

The hope is what hurts, not the lies or the truth

To bury her memory in the dirt feels a bit morbid to do

But I guess it’s better than burying myself like I’ve wanted to do

SOUL:

Yes brain please stop listening to the hearts harmed values

She can’t heal if each night she closes her eyes to her old scandals

It’s easier to forget than hold on to shambles

Her ex made that apparent when she was left with no battles

HEART:

Okay okay I’ll try to dismantle her from the present

Keep her in the past, her REM will be forbidden to think of the truest love she’s ever kept

The home when she needed help

The touch when she needed felt

The smiles when she needed to dwell on something magical,

the only thing that ever made her happy

Forget the emotional abuse and all the sad things

Focus on

SOUL:

NO NO SHE WAS SO BAD TO YOU, STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU KNEW? OH NO NO SHE’S CONVINCED SHE STILL LOVES HER

NO NO DO YOU KNOW THE HURT YOU’VE JUST ACCOMPANIED TO HER

THE HURT THE HURT

NO NOT AGAIN

MAKING HER BERSERK OVER A GIRL WHO WILL NEVER LISTEN

HEART:

It’s too late, it’s too late.

I’ve opened her mind to hells gate.

The hope can’t be defined by what’s at stake

She never cared about her well-being when she thinks it’s fate

Here’s another dream, this time while she lays awake

Tears start to stream

There’s no escape

I’m aching

I can feel the pain

This cycle keeps cycling

For years on straight

1 year

2 year

3 year

4

You’ll never rid of your first love’s adorn

She’ll always be there lurking in the corners

Of your heart or your head

She’s made space in both borders

You have no chance

To save what you’ve warned us

You just can’t

Forget who your love was

I’m so sorry

For now all you can feel is lust

At first meeting

You’ll have to work harder

Those walls that she melted now have stronger beaming

SOUL:

But you will love again

Just not like that

You’ll have to chip away at all the facts

The first one being

She’s

Never

Coming

Back

The second being

You’re still in tact

Without her you can live

Without her you can love

No it won’t be the same

It’ll be so much better

You just have to try

MIND:

I’d rather die

SOUL:

Look what you’re done heart! You’ve wrecked her mind

She’ll never be the same

You made it go insane!

We have to keep her alive!

HEART:

I’m sorry but I am weak

Full of empathy but no self love to speak

I wish I could turn it off instead of weep

I can’t control what I want or how I grieve

HEART, MIND, SOUL:

Numbness is better

This numbness you keep

It’s better than what would have been

I’m so sorry it’s come to this

We’ll keep trying to give you your deserving bliss

THE GIRL:

She stands

On a chair

A pretty necklace

Surrounds her hair

She jumps in the air

Then suddenly there is none

A crack of a neck, now she is done

As her soul leaves, they see the note she’s written

“I’d rather feel it all,

than nothing at all”

Her soul left crying

Through the walls