Mania & Memory

I feel like I have a terrible memory ever since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The craziest year of my life I only remember bits and pieces of. But for some reason I could still write a whole entire book about that fucking crazy manic traumatizing depressing year. So yeah I do think bipolar effects your memory. I do think mania effects your memory. The outcome of the tragedy is this loss of life and a feeling of stupidity.

And I know I'm not stupid.

I know this isn't my fault.

This is not your fault.

We have bipolar disorder.

This is not my fault.

This is not your fault.

This is not our fault.

So fuck mania.

Fuck the fall-out and guilt that follow.

Fuck the illness we have to live with everyday.

Fuck the good things we can't remember.

Fuck the crap we do remember that haunts us.

Fuck bipolar disorder.

It feels like you took a part of my life.

Took a part of our lives.