Mania

When you tell me that you like the way I curled my hair, I say thank you, but what you don’t know is that Mania made me do it- at 4AM. When you tell me that the sex was amazing, Mania made me do it [like that]. When you tell me that you love my art and call me your “artist baby,” Mania made me do it- made me fill notebooks full of great, but not perfect images. I tore out most of the pages. When you tell me that I need to eat more I say, “I know.” Mania made me do it- I mean not do it- eat I mean. When you tell me that everything will be okay, I know that it will but Mania made me do it- made me worry all night long. When you tell me that I talk too fast, and that I’m a dangerous woman, and that you know I’m a little high, Mania made me do it. With every burst of anger, sadness, excitement, energy- Mania made me do it, feel that way. When I’m crying uncontrollably and I tell you, “I just can’t do this anymore!” Mania made me do it. And when the day comes that I jump from that car or bridge or skyscraper, I’ll write it in my own blood. “Mania made me do it.”