Makeshift Heart
A poem for anyone whose heart they made themselves
The other day while I was home for lunch,
something like “Naked and Afraid” on the tv
as background noise. I saw a guy make a makeshift
rain cover with the resources around him and
nothing else. My initial thought was “Wow, where
can someone learn to be so calm and resourceful
in a time of a serious emergency?”
Then, I realized something. I have been
walking around with a makeshift heart for a
pretty good while now. This papier-mache heart
is something I crafted with hands that bled all over
the shards of glass that was my old heart when
I tired to put that one back together.
This heart is made up of broken promises,
the wrong expectation of forever, an idea
that people will stick around much longer if I
make my love strong enough to cover the
both of us, and paper that I found
sitting out in the rain.
It is held together by the tattered strings
that belonged to the fabric of my self-esteem
and the dried up glue that used to hold me
together.
This heart does not beat because I forgot to
add the rhythm of my walk. I have to watch my
steps and avoid everything that could cause
this fragile heart to fall apart.
It is sensitive, scared, and not ready to
be accepted. It questions why it is here.
Being born out of tragedy means having a
bad day from birth, mistaking a minor inconvenience
for the end of the world, and never trusting you your
own reflection when you tell it that things will
eventually get better.
From this, I learned to make sure that
my child is welcomed to the world with
sunflowers and sunshine so that they
will always see the sun somewhere.
I have realized these past few days that it
is time for a newer, more durable model
of the heart I have now. This spare tire that
is keeping me on the road I am traveling
on is good for now, but not a permanent solution.
It will need replacing soon. Maybe if I break
down, I’ll just hitchhike with you, and use
your heart until you drop me off to get my own.
About the Creator
Solo Gamez
Words that have the power to move mountains.
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