Make Details Matter

A detail is everything that isn’t directly communicated.If someone says it, it becomes a thing like any other.Details are hidden things.

Details are sounds people do unintentionally.

Unseen smiles or invisible glimpses.

And infinite other things.

Details are—frequently—things to what we have no answer.

Sometimes there isn’t an answer.

And sometimes we are lazy or reluctant to give it.

But, recurrently, we have even no question.

No question, no answer. It’s fare.

Ok. But why would we need a question?

Aren’t details beautiful precious SILENT things?

Why bore them? Why screw it up?

No, no, no, no… it isn’t about other people’s details.

This is about your details. From you—to you.

You know, that little thing you do but don’t know why.

The way you react to that other thing, that you still assume it is your unique way of being—it is in the stars, I was born like this.

No… I- I- I’m sorry, you w- were not.

The same way you can do things, you can destroy things.

As it can be good things, it can be bad things.

Now. Which ones will you destroy?

Which ones will you build?

I started thinking deeply about details, after the last vegan and non-vegan “debate” I had with a friend.

Some weeks ago, he was telling me how proud he feels for me being vegan and doing all “the good stuff” I do, blah blah blah.

You know, the typical “you play, I watch the game.”

Then I insist on the question why isn’t he doing that effort… why not?

And here we go again: He does a big speech, numbering all the reasons why he agrees, all the facts—he knows a lot, all the shit, but then…

Then comes something he can’t explain or understand—or both.

Here is what I call: The Detail.

This specific detail includes the words that fade away, the sweet—innocent—smile that appears on his face, and the way he looks into my eyes, like begging for understanding. Begging to stop with that question.

Ahh… that little thing… that… detail.

What is it? The tasty flavor of blood? A deep sense of connection with a culture? A dominant belief system supported by a variety of defense mechanisms and mostly unchallenged assumptions?

Details matter, man! Don’t run away from it.

When you do, there is a heavy waste of time and the price to pay is big:

Carry on with your life and decisions based on

—insignificance,

alienation,

apathy

—nothing.

Just like a laboratory rat.

And I’m not sure if you know what I feel for lab rats.

My friend couldn’t see the detail.

And I’m convinced that I thought more about our conversation than him. Anyway, I’m also convinced that things take time and maybe he couldn’t see it but could realize that something was still hiding from his understanding.

There are millions of details like this in our lives.

Sometimes, we hurt and aren’t capable of apologizing.

Other times, we aren’t capable to forgive.

Sometimes, we are so haughty we don’t run to what we want.

Other times, we love but we show nothing, indifference.

And all of it, all of us who go through a “detail” have a wonderful and heavy argument which explains our reasons. And we almost convince ourselves and others.

When discussing it with a friend, when trying to help him/her—because you are.

Do more questions: Ask everything, the hard things too.

There will come a moment when that person sinks or swims.

They can tell you to shut up and leave, or they can do an effort to answer the questions trying to find out the truth.

Sink or swim…

Geez, how many things like that I have in my life.

How many details I wasn’t capable to grab.

How many I still have no courage to look into it.

There are sometimes when someone faces my idiocy and points out those… things to me.

It saves so much time!

It’s agonizing—but still, it saves time.

“A detail is everything that isn’t directly communicated.”

(Do you remember this part?)

“If someone says it, it becomes a thing like any other.”

Yes, it becomes.

Mostly and firstly, it becomes a dilemma agreeing with the person who tells us about our… problem[?], barrier[?].

Then it becomes a headache trying to figuring out what to do and when to do, and it depends on how arrogant we are.

Here is what I believe we should do with it:

We should grab it.

Put it in our palm, raise our hand up to our eyes and look into it. I know that there is no answer, but maybe there is also no question.

Maybe we forgot to ask about it—to ourselves.

We need the questions, ladies and gentlemen.

We need to find the right questions so we can find the answers.

We can not get tired of asking questions.

I’m tired of people not asking questions.

I’m tired of people who aren’t lab rats but behave like they were.

“Gi’me ma food. Gi’me ma task. Gi’me ma medicine.”

Tired of people who cry for answers, but never did the questions.

Tired of people having fear to do what is right, but courage to do what is wrong.

And yes, this is it.

The whole way I composed these words were to point out this to you:

Sometimes you have the courage to do what is wrong, but when the moment comes you feel too afraid to do what is right.

Maybe next time, you can grab a detail and make it matter.