I sit in silence, I sit in darkness.
Like an musician tuning his guitar.
Trying desperately to hear your voice.
My eyes are wide, my interest piqued.
You don't know I'm here.
I crawl across the dingy floor,
Across my sea of broken dreams.
I'm waiting for my orders, waiting to see what morning brings.
A writer searching for the words.
Never will you ever see the final draft of anything.
The deepest side of me.
Laying on my belly I lay and wait for your directions.
For you to come and find me.
But I find you standing there.
Like a king upon your throne.
Standing on your stage.
Commandeering your ship in my sea of broken dreams.
Like an artist searching for his muse.
You make the rules and I follow through,
Saying this and saying that.
Your orders are my restitution.
I wait and listen with my deepest breath.
To be the chosen one.
I patiently wait for my turn.
But my turn never comes.
Your chambermaid I have become and I slither in and out of your darkness.
Closer to your voice I move, much deeper I am in.
I hear the subtle whispers and I'm afraid you're not alone.
Deep within my tenderness are the hours that we invested.
Hours in which I gave to you the best I had to give.
But in despair, I hear you whisper now those things I used to hear.
Closely now I listen well and I can hear you speak.
My belly aches, my knees grown weak.
And once again you betray the heart that you've been given.
She whispers back, your name I hear,
There is no doubt, her words are clear.
Some things can't be forgiven.
No longer can I allow this place to be my institution.
Before you are aware that that I am there.
I create my path; my immediate resolution.
Within a heartbeat's time I slither back.
Back to familiar ground, I'm right on track.
But images get the best of me, notions go round and round.
Today I chose to be the one who will walk away with pride.
Dignity and integrity will dance the nights last dance.
For no one wins when conspiracy has been given a half of chance.
I stand up tall, dust of my jeans and with a newfound grace I keep my stride.
I can't look back to the place where part of me has died.
There's no one here to help me clean up this blasted mess.
There's nothing for me there and I refuse to cry.
My lonely soul and broken heart, your kisses I will miss.
I believe in a kinder love.
And i remind myself of make believe.
When there is no loyalty, love won't stand a chance.
It takes two to make some dreams come true.
Believe in me and I will believe in you.
About the Creator
Natalie Marie Stefani-Rice
So please grant me peace from the demons I see. They crowd me and stalk me and won't let me be.
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