Love

When you fall in love for the first time... You feel light as air.

It feels like everything in the world is going right!

Your smile glistens and your eyes glow with hope. You're all warm and tingly inside. Butterflies swarm in your belly and happiness surrounds you.

It's so effortless falling in love. All you see is the beauty in the person before you. All you want is to make the other soul happy and flourish. Seeing them at their best brings you life.

As you grow in love... You begin to discover flaws in this perfectly woven veil you placed over your "perfect" partner.

The deeper you look, the more they tip off of the pedestal you sat them on. You still feel hope and light. You still see joy and taste sweet bliss. And for a moment, it makes the imperfections almost unnoticable.

Years go by... And you begin to witness a whole new person from the one you fell in love with. The darkness seeps through and the trauma and pain from their past life paves a road you walk down ever so slowly...

You discover their innermost secrets and lies. You uncover hidden actions of this other person and realise they really aren't as well put together as they once seemed to be.

Now you see how damaged and broken they truly are. It hurts.

After while they're completely naked in front of you. Exposed for all they are and all they will be...

You have to make a choice...

Will you continue to hold their hand and walk this long road?... Or will you run to explore a new hopelessly blind passion?

Your spirit yearns for that delightful and joyous feeling you once had.

So you grab their hand delicately and you tred lightly, in hopes you made the right decision.

You let them fall apart in your arms. You look next to you and without warning, all the things they are feeling emanate from you.

You merge together and suddly your life, becomes "our" life.

All your time and energy is devoted into building up your relationship and being strong for your soulmate.

You pick up, dust off, and put the pieces back together of this almost lifeless human being.

You work so long and so assiduously.

Your mindset unravels and your perspective is completely spun.

Like a Potter sculpting his finest masterpiece... you learn to honor, respect, and hold tenderly your work of art through this captivating process.

You pour all your support, understanding, and unconditional kindness into their cracks and jagged edges. You suffer long and suffer deep.

You turn your focus from your work to take a look at all you've accomplished... And there standing before you, on their own two feet, powerful and beautiful is this whole new person.

Like a ray of sunshine gleaming from the heavens just for you... This all wondering beauty is ready.

Marble skin, silky hair, unforgettable smile. You watch them dance before you.

Everything you've put into this other life has paid off tremendously because you chose to water your garden and tend to its needs. Your Eden is ready to take on the world.

You look down at your hands for a mere second and something catches your eye. There are cracks in them filling with blood. You feel a sudden yet intense knot wallowing in your stomach. You collapse and fall. You, in all your care for your lover, have been weakened and now are in desperate need of repair.

How can this be?

You reach your hand to the masterpiece you helped create. You look to them for a mere sample of the energy you put into them.

They pull away...

They're grateful for everything you've done (to a certain extent), but they don't want to fall apart helping you stand to your feet. That's just an unnecessary risk!

They have just begun to explore what it's like to be whole. They're not willing to give that up for anything... Not even... For you.

Eventually you see their feet shift directions and they take a step away from you. Every time you blink, one foot is being placed in front of the other. Before you have a chance to bring your mind up to speed, you're alone.

Cast aside you lie in the dirt road, waiting for someone, anyone to pick you up. Your heart thumps louder and harder. Your ears ring.

Your chest shakes and the weight you've been carrying for all these years beings to crush you. You smile one last time. Even though you will not make it through, your love will live on forever. Without you.

Hardly breathing... Fading away... breaking apart... Bit by bit. You wither away and float in the wind... Only to be forgotten for all you give.