Loss

It’s just sinking in that you’re gone.

All the times we sat together,

At home watching TV,

In the wild watching the fire,

Talking about movies, jobs, life in general,

They swirl inside my head and pour out of my eyes as tears,

Because I know that my head is the only place they will happen now.

I know very well who you were -

The strength, the courage, the wisdom, the love,

My friend and my father.

But I realize now how little I knew of your life, before me.

I wish I would have asked,

I would love to have heard your stories.

But now I have only bits and pieces,

The in between filled with gaps and speculation.

I would give anything for one more night around the fire,

Filled with stories and tales of the past.

Anything for a hug, a pat on the back, or another proud look.

But all that remains are the memories,

The gratitude for everything that you gave to me,

The pieces of you that I see in the mirror,

And the hopes that they will fill the gap enough for me to go on.