Looking Back Into Youth

I wrote these poems back in high school when my tough times first started. It was the first sign of many that I should get help, which I did soon after. Today I am better than I was but I still struggle and I know many other people do too. I thought looking back and posting these for the world to see might help me see how far I've come. It's therapeutic in a way and I hope you all enjoy these poems by young Patrick Lain, back when I wrote under my real name.

The I Am Poem

I am Iain O’Shea

I wonder why my heart's still beating

I hear a voice that takes me down

I see a way through life, and I long to go and find it

I am Iain O'Shea

I pretend to feel happy even though I can’t be

I feel and sad frightened when I’m alone at night

I touch my emotional scars in the dark

I worry about everything besides myself

I cry in the night where no one can hear me

I am Iain O’Shea

I understand I have more to live for

I say I can keep going even though my hope slips away

I dream of a way to get better

I try to comfort others and forget myself

My verse will be: I can’t live for myself until I’ve helped the people I love.

I am Iain Patrick O’Shea

My Mind!

My mind is slowly collapsing around me

The faith I never had keeps slipping away

I drift from my virtues, who should I be?

The darkness sleeps within me I can’t stay

My views on life ruin happiness for all

Everything is fake only an illusion

Real is what we make it what is our call

We are all dreaming lost in confusion

If this is my life I will try to live it

My friends break down with problems uncontrolled

I try and help but I take no credit

I thirst for warmth because I’m cold

My mind is my god and there’s a price to pay

My mind is a god and it's judgment day

Frozen

Frozen

Body, broken

Blood dripping from my arms

Screaming but no one can hear me

Relief…

Figures in the Dark

I lie in the dark

The figures rise as I sleep

Defending myself

As they come and attack me

Real or not they consume me

Everything Inside

I, an empty vessel of my sins

Once an angel good and graceful

But now my wings frail

As I’m doomed to burn in hell

Why should I pray to a God I have disgraced

Why should he help me anyway!

I’m doomed by my actions

Because helping a person angers another

And I witness society running away

Why people like me rot away

Trapped, from an escape

Other people just walk away

As some cry, frail, and wither away

Before our eyes

And we just watch them because

We can’t face the fact

That’s people's light can fade to black

And they die in the night waiting for a reason not to cry

I, once a happy interjected child

Now I just cry and scream without reasoning

I, now a pathetic waste because I can’t face the fact

That my mind is ruined without knowing why