Live or Die

Live or die

Same thing

If I die I have a chance to end the suffering

If I live I have a chance to end the suffering easy way out:

Death

I can't handle it anymore can't handle the anxiety attacks

Like a whole building has fallen on top of me that no one can see

But only I can feel

It makes it so hard to breath

My lungs have to give it their all to inhale and renew the oxygen that has now turned into carbon dioxide

To take a breath

They have to fight

I have to fight

And all I want is to take the building off me to escape from it because I seem to be trapped

But I can't see it

No one can

But only I can feel it

Only I can feel it crushing me

Only I can feel it taking my breath away

Only I can feel how it's making it so hard to breath

To breath

Something a new born can do on its own with out anyone teaching them to do so

I

A 17-year-old girl can't do that

I need to focus on my lungs

On every single breath I take

So I don't suffocate

So I can succeed to give my body the air it needs to survive

I fight

So hard

But at the same time

I am dying

I am suffocating

But my lungs don't give up on me, they're strong they fight until they claim victory and the war isn't over yet they prepare for the next battle

For the next anxiety attack