Liquid Fire

You just had to keep drinking that liquid fire.

Burn up your insides yet extinguish my desire;

My desire to grow old with you,

To solidify a love I thought was true.

I still love you but I had to walk away.

The liquid fire changed you from night to day,

Or rather day to night. I hated seeing you at night...

It was when the liquid fire seared your sight.

Your vision blurred, your words slurred, you acted absurd!

You flirted with, danced with, and kissed everybody but me,

But when you weren’t engulfed, all you saw was me.

We were damn near close to perfect,

But when I talked of putting out the flames, all you did was deflect,

Deny: "You’re the one with the problem not I...

What I do is normal you’re the one living a lie!"

You said if I can’t love you at your worst, I don’t deserve you at your best,

But what happens when your worst only gets worse putting me to the test?

I miss you every day,

But I had to walk away.

I had to say...I loved you during the day.

After five meant time for Five O’Clock:

The liquid fire I would always mock,

But you continued to ingest...no matter how much I would detest...

No matter how many times you would forget the sex...

No matter how much it would make me miss...your best.

You’re better than this. You know this.

I guess I'm hoping it’s my last kiss that makes it stick.

To lose the love of your life,

Both our hearts stabbed with a knife,

For you to wake up and put out the liquid fire,

But you won't...You’ll find another buyer;

One who will accept you at your worst,

Instead of challenging you to be first.

Was I challenging, judgmental, pretentious?

Maybe...but only because our love was precious.

I saw the light in you, not from the liquid fire,

But your fiery soul that I wanted to inspire.

I’m sorry for not having a higher threshold,

Or using the building blocks of love for a future household.

I’m sorry for walking away when maybe you needed me most,

But I had to stop feeling like a ghost;

Dead...Trapped...Afraid,

Trying to hold on to a rope that was frayed,

Giving my hands blisters as the blistering heat went to your liver.

God, your poor liver! Do you not want to live?!?

The question makes me quiver.

l want to live. Maybe one day with you but you know what I require:

For you to fight and smother that lethal liquid fire.