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Lighthouse

Drifting at Sea

By Alexandrea CallaghanPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
2

I am a ship, I am pushed and pulled by a vast, endless ocean. When the waters calm, I can see the horizon and begin to love the world I see again. Then the rain starts and as water crashes down upon me, and lightning brightens the sky, the waters become rough and cold. I am now thrashed and beaten by the waves and circumstances of my reality.

I am alone, surrounded by miles and miles of nothing but water and air, air that is so suffocating. I drown in a sea of air breathing in nothing but myself. I scream and nobody can hear me, I cry and nobody can see. Isolated I sink into the warmth of the water, the water that both houses and breaks me. I am sailing away from everything that I know, floating on my own into the unknown and undiscovered. I am searching, searching for something to latch onto, something to live for.

After years and years of floating on my own, I seek a safe harbor, a welcome home. I see a dim light in the distance, it is faint and brief, but it's there. I am lost, with no marker or landmarks to lead me anyway I float without direction. I cling to the idea of hope, willing it into my heart. The wind fills my sails to carry me nowhere and yet I am empty. I sail on my own talking to the moon and stars and sky. The sky responds with gusts of wind. The stars answer by shooting across the sky and holding my wishes close, the moon guides my soul and warms my heart. I take comfort in the night. I find myself shying from the day and the sun's harsh, unforgiving light. It reveals me and I must stay hidden from the world and from myself.

As I wake into the night, I see it again, that faint, brief light. It feels closer now, warmer and this time it stays with me longer. Now as I sail along, I hold the thought of feeling that light with me, I let it warm me when the world and waters get cold. I start floating in the direction of the light. I hope to catch a glimpse of its warmth again, hoping for a longer time in its gaze. It is what keeps me sailing on, the hope that come nightfall I will once again encounter that light in the distance.

I wake once more and see the stars, I search for that light, the light that I now think of as the thing that is guiding me home. About to give up I move to retreat, it is then that I feel it, it warms my back. I turn and see that guiding light. A light that is brighter and warmer than ever before. That light that I drift towards grows the feeling of hope within me, making it more tangible. I sail towards it, reaching for it, needing it. This time the light lingers and bathes me in its warmth. For the first time in what seems like an eternity I smile, I stretch out my arms and bask in the hope the light brings me.

The sun breaks the horizon and once more I hide from the sun. As I shield myself from the harsh rays of the sun and the vulnerable openness of the light blue sky, I close my eyes and dream of the warm, white light that filled my long to empty soul. I hold onto the comfort it brought me and long for its embrace again. I think of the light, and who it must be emanating from. I think of the glow and the kindness and comfort that it possesses. I reflect upon the goodness of the keeper of the light, painting an image of him in my mind.

For so long I have been abused by the very waters that I sail upon, broken by the very thing that was meant to support me. I could not see an end to the vast torture of loneliness until I was met with that light. I now have faith, and live in anticipation of the day that I might meet the keeper of that hope. So I lay there and pray for an end to my search. My search for safety and m search for self.

I have lost count of the days and nights that have passed by I now see and end in sight. As the moon takes its place in the sky I once again am greeted with the light that guides me. This time is different, this time I am not only met with the light but also with the vessel that contains it. It is strong, sturdy, and beautiful. I gaze upon its elegance, wrought with pain itself but standing tall above the waters that attempt to overwhelm it. I admire its purpose and cherish its light.

As I approach the land that houses you, I am filled with joy and impatience. I try to contain myself but the hope that you have given me is ready to burst out of my chest. I can see your form growing taller and your light growing brighter. As the beach grown nearer, your warmth surrounds me and I scream out in joy.

I slide into the relief of the beach, and run towards you. You embrace me and we fall into each other's warmth and love. With tears streaming down my face I smile and for the first time I see your face. My warmth, my hope, my guiding light, you are my lighthouse and now my home. I find in you all the security I have ever looked for. You are my love and my safe harbor.

My lighthouse, my paramore, my companion.

love poems
2

About the Creator

Alexandrea Callaghan

Certified nerd, super geek and very proud fangirl.

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