Lessons Learned

I feel empty I feel sad I feel anger I feel regret I feel hatred towards myself I feel devastated I feel unworthy I feel broken I feel undeserving of your love,

I feel alone

I fuckin' miss you, I want to talk, call me back, answer my text, I just keep staring at my phone. And... nothing

Not a call, not a text, but how can I blame you, after all I’m the one who left. I left and I broke your heart and that’s the reason why I am falling apart.

We were just kids falling in love, all I wanted to give you were my kisses and hugs, not really knowing what it was, but that all changed when we fell in love with the drugs.

At that time you were incapable of loving me back, you broke my heart and caused me panic attacks, I knew I loved you but I was scared to stay, I just wanted you to trust me, you didn’t, you broke me and I just ran away.

I regret making the decision to leave you in fear of my dad, it kills me so much to think about what we could have had. Ever since the day I saw you in October I never knew how it felt to be loved by you sober, it feels like magic, like the best drug in the world it got me so high, all I want is to be your girl. To be by your side, to be your ride or die, to be your wife for the rest of our life.

I know you haven’t heard from me in 6 years, I feel your pain, that is what is causing my tears. Oh, how the tables have turned, I guess it was my turn to be the one to get burned.

Karma showed her pretty face, here is some of my own medicine to taste. I am sorry for the pain that I caused you, I want you to know how much I still love you.

Walk away again never, you and I are meant to be together. I will wait for you, my love, forever