Leave

Pavement where I walk,

It's soft and heavy under my shoes,

The much known uphill street,

Where nightmares lay.

I live behind that block around the corner.

That specific apartment,

Cozy on the inside but cold on the outside, like jail. Nowhere to escape.

Is it possible to escape?

Not from jail but from the apartment

Do as I say,

Open the door, leave the past behind.

Once one foot is outside, freedom will be waiting for you.

The door opens by itself, no need of hands, the sun is shining and—

I feel as drunk as the sun

Sun so high it feels dizzy to look at

That is where I want to get close to

The drunkness of the sun, full of light

Gaze into the sky and think,

Will you be such a beggar liking to lose

Instead of using the love behind your back to win and push you forward.

That's what beggars do, losing things along the way,

I won't, I'm a chaser

The things I have always liked-

Are far within my reach,

Will I be able to go up there,

There, the sky and stars that seem so bright from here -

Will they get dull, once I get close?

Emotion is what I feel

When thinking that way, my hands shake

My whole body is laughing with marvelous giddiness.

Somehow I can't help but sometimes feel useless,

How can I help a problematic self-become a blooming one. Like a flower,

Feeling unpowerful at the beginning

As long as there is a worth in shining at the end.

The worth,

Not in my sarcastic and annoying self

But in the funny one.

Sarcasm is not the same as fun.

I will push beyond the sarcasm and find the fun that there was once inside myself.