Late Night Thoughts (Pt.1)

I tried.

I sat in poisin for years and never asked why.

The turning of my door knob while I'm asleep in my waves of dreamless dreams is a fear.

You slid into my nights and psychological spectrums and bled into them. Poisoning my every strand of life as I knew it. Then it began. The torture. Sleepless nights. Black out days. Depression and anxiety. Fear induced panic attacks. Open scars I don't want anymore. Anxiety when I come home. I don't want anymore. The fear that someone will trap me behind a door because of their lack of self control and confidence and sureness I don't want anymore. I hate seeing your face. Wanting to get pregnant but not by any man who has to do what you did to me, to my body, so beautiful sacred and god given. Fuck the fact that you took my life from me and now I have to fight myself to get it back. Fuck that.

Train Wreck.