Sometimes I want to express my feelings in a way that words in the dictionary cannot accurately define.
I know that most of the times this is what everyone feels,
but sometimes I'm feeling things that are impossible to describe,
and that are perhaps impossible to exist in this inferior world:
like sometimes when I'm in a room I’ve been in 100 times before,
I have moments that I truly open my eyes to my surroundings
and I gain a new and different perspective of the setting.
It's moments like these that make me realize how I never give real notice to the world but at that certain moment when I acknowledge the existence of matter around me.
Sometimes I feel like people see me as a different person than I think they see me.
I look myself in the mirror and think, "Is this who I am? Do people see me the way I see me?
do they see something else? something beautiful? something ugly?"
I will never know
because that is the effect and power of individual perspective and opinion. Individuality cannot exist without the differentiated perspectives.
Sometimes I feel like I’m so different than the person I used to be
and I want to go back to my innocent moments
of euphemism and obliviousness when I believed boys
only cared about football and video games
and girls had crushes on them, who were too young
to understand what it really meant to have a crush.
And sometimes when I think of my past self of only 2 years ago and forward
I think: "How have I been through so much and still have the same feeling of myself?"
I have the same curiousness about the deepness of my soul,
the same distinguished urge to write,
the same intrigued feeling about my future,
and what it has in store for me,
what people,
what life,
what experiences.
And sometimes I wonder what It would be like if I wasn’t this person
and if I weren’t Melina.
I don’t know where such answers can be solved
or if the stars could,
or if science could,
but whatever the case is
I know that most of the times
I feel like all I am is the King chess piece,
and my only purpose in life is to move a step away from check-mate
every time I get too close to destruction,
Hanging by a thread,
treating life like it's a miniature moment that is shortened by every black or white move that I'm forced to make.
About the Creator
Melina Giorgalletou
Just a college student from Cyprus, living in NYC, trying to find herself through words and writing.
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