Just One

They call me a prude or a buzzkill.

They say I don’t know how to have any fun,

But the truth is, I know too well.

I’ve seen ‘just one’

Turn into ‘just one more’

I’ve watched wanting

Become needing.

And once a week

Turn into two, three, four times a day.

I’ve seen paychecks disappear

And food intake dwindle.

Something has to go

When bliss is so expensive.

I’ve listened through that wall:

The pleading more frantic,

Your next fix

Just not coming fast enough.

I’ve seen them come looking,

When you bit off more than you could afford.

You told everyone you were mugged

But you had nothing for anyone to take.

I’ve walked by that door,

Stared at your empty bed,

Wished and prayed

You’d just come back.

I’ve heard mom’s tears,

Watched dad deny, deny, deny,

Pushing more and more evidence

Under that rug.

I felt the stab of another birthday missed,

The sting of your absence on Christmas.

I was there when you robbed

Your own home on Thanksgiving.

And then I witnessed your return,

The rug too small to hide

What everyone could plainly see.

A stranger to those who love you.

You’re skin pale, face tight,

Clothes hanging loosely off your tired bones.

I witnessed the comeback;

Slow, painful, more downs than ups.

Waited for you to run,

The familiar glint, that dreaded twitch.

And then I watched you stay.

I witnessed one good day

Turn into two, then three.

I saw the needing

Become wanting

Become... nothing.

So no, I can’t loosen up

For ‘just one night’

Because I’ve seen what happens

When that night never ends.