The date is January 19, 2017
Well okay then mom.
You want me to be happy but how am I supposed to be happy when you won't even let me see him?
You say he hasn't changed but how would you know when you haven't even given him the chance to prove it?
You say my attitude has gotten worse since we got back together but did you ever stop to think maybe it's because you won't let me see him?
Didn't think so!
You judge him way too fast and you don't even know him.
You say I'm not really happy
But how would you know?
Most of those times you thought I was happy I was faking it.
And wow have I got good at that or what.
Pretty much everyone falls for that same old smile. except him!
He sees through it so tell me that he doesn't truly love me
Tell me we’re fake.
Tell me it won't last.
Tell me I'm better off.
But don't tell me he doesn't love me
He has been there for me for 2 years straight
Even when you planted those lies in my brain about how he's a bad guy.
Well guess what he's nothing like dad
He's not gonna leave me
He's not gonna use me
He's gonna be there for me when I need him most.
So think again when you want to judge him.
I bet you didn't know
He was there for me when I wanted to give up on everything
He was the one to hold up the walls when they came crashing down
He was there when everyone left
He was there to stitch the broken pieces back together.
He has been there when I didn't want to talk to anyone
He has been there when all I needed was to be held
He never gave up on me so why should I even listen to anyone about giving up on him.
They obviously don't see what I see but that's okay.
He is my one and only.
He is the peanut to my jelly
The north to my south
The Forever to my Always
No matter what we face we face it together
Thru thick and thin
I will be by his side as he will be by mine.
There is no need for my walls to be up when I'm with him
And the only walls that I will let be put up
Is the walls to Our house
With Our children
And Our happy ending!
4 MONTHS LATER…...
As i sit here i begin to ask myself why?
Why was i not what you wanted?
Why did i not make you happy?
Why did you fall for her?
Why did you leave?
I try to get the answer
Each time i see you.
But you look right thru me as if i never even smelled your hair
Or as others say walked into your life.
PLEASE ANSWER ME!!
I am numb from the inside out.
I feel nothing but everything.
You know when your leg goes numb
then as you begin to move them
you get that sharp feeling like a thousand needles stabbing you at once.
Well that's how i feel
When you're not around i am that numb leg
But as soon as i see you, hear your name, or even smell you
The needles start to prick.
One by one but all at once.
Why does this hurt so badly?
I gave up everything for you
I gave you what you asked
So why was i not enough?
How did we lose our spark?
PLEASE ANSWER ME!!
I think to myself what if i did something to push you away
At this point its like you were there you moment and gone the next
Did i make you run?
Or did you just love the calling of her voice?
Has our whole relationship been nothing but a lie?
Did you ever really love me?
Was i just a distraction for you?
I have so many question!
But yet you have not a single answer.
Remember that time you told me Forever and Always?
Or the time you said you just want to steal me away and go where no one will find us?
Oh and that time you said that you plan to never ever leave me.
And and the times you said you’ll always be there for me?
Yeah those were the times
The times you were lying!
I also begin to ask myself if i meant so much to you then
Why?
Why was it so easy for you to up and leave out of the blue?
Not so much as a good bye was said.
Was i not worth the time?
I mean seriously 2years and 4months
And you couldn't even tell me WHY!
As i fix my own broken heart i'm coming to the point that i can accept
that those unanswered questions will forever remain unanswered and i begin to realize
As someone once said
“I never knew how strong i was until i had to forgive someone
who wasn’t sorry and accept an apology i never received.”
About the Creator
G G
We live our life forward but learn it all backwards.
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