Poets logo

It Is What You Make of It

Creative Non-Fiction 1: Prose Poem

By Aaron LoftinPublished 7 years ago 11 min read
2

Intro.

What is Freedom?

Freedom is such a complex term that in order to understand it, you must dissect it. To begin the dissection you must find the common definition and its associations. The freedom that I speak about is the being without an oppressor of the physical and mental aspects of my life and therefore being over used in my commitments. Being that freedom is a complex term, the word has formed several meanings to the individual. The best definition of freedom is the ability to enact your will as long as you do not infringe on anyone else's freedoms.

The Douche

When I was a child I underwent several transformations and was even hindered because my stepfather's will began to intrude in my life. I was against their union from the beginning and was hoping for a way out. Instead I was a child with wisdom beyond the years of my mother and my grandparents and I would suffer under that bastard's cruel hands for seven years.

When I was five, my mother fell for a fat douche bag; she couldn't get out of that situation slowly enough. I could see straight through the twerp... my stepfather didn't want anything to do with my sister or me. He only wanted my mother and saw us a burden, so I fought against the idea of them getting together and getting married; it happened anyways. Apparently, I didn't know anything about love and didn't understand because I was in the first grade... but I was in the first grade with a ninth grade reading level and being considered for the gifted program. What the Hell?

I was outnumbered as my grandparents gave their blessings as the ring slipped on her finger. My freedom was being challenged as I was taken away from the farm and I thought rebellion was my only recourse. Instead of proving them wrong I proved them right and hid my intelligence. Why you ask. Why not? I was stupid in their eyes and was forced to go along with my mother. Though she knew I was smart, the man she married didn't, and as far as I knew I had nothing to prove. I had him where I wanted him, clueless and unsuspecting in case I wanted to strike. I never did. This was my expression of freedom and I still wondered what freedom was.

Seven

Seven years of living with that wretched bastard I was happily returning to the glory of the family farm. It was thirty minutes to the high school I went to and I didn’t know anyone. There I learned about how great America is and how many freedoms Americans have. “America is the best nation in the world,” they said; “it has done so much and you are free.” I did not disagree, but what about Americans? To my surprise, Americans are not really that free at all. Sure they have a constitution with an established Bill of Rights, and our Declaration of Independence from England and its Empire, but is the common man informed of his wonderful position? Does he or she recognize their freedom?

The main antithesis of freedom is commitment. Commitment itself is good, but today’s America is seen as a society of busy adults with too many things to do. However the American public does not understand that commitment is the beast which feeds on their freedom. There is a simple solution to this problem; we need to put the beast of commitment on a diet because every time we give in to too many commitments we commit adultery against freedom.

If you ask the average adult American male if he knows he is free, he will say yes. If you have the chance, ask him if he has enacted on his freedom. He will say no. Why? Because, he hasn’t had much time. Where did his time go? Well, this man’s answer will be about the various things that are acceptable and unacceptable in the realm of modern society, but his and answer will never be direct as it is in this one word. Commitments. He has committed himself to too much and is therefore running out of time and if you keep him for too long he will walk away.

In a commitment a person gives up a part of his or her freedom in order to work with, for, or around someone or something else to achieve a common goal. This is good until the person takes on too many heavy commitments at once and Americans seem to do a lot of that because they ‘don’t have time.’ So, if Americans have freedom and I am an American, then I have freedom. What is freedom; Do I have it?

Imagination

One of the things that set me free, as a child, was my vivid imagination. It worked so well that I would scare myself with its capabilities. It never took much to get my imagination started. The stimulus for it could be a picture, a figurine, a movie, or even a pencil. My mother thought she had to put me on medication in an effort to calm my relentlessness. Although the medication slowed me down, it damaged my ability to think as creatively as I used to, but little by little I am recovering it. It also blocked a part of my potential intelligence. The meds acted like a key, locking up a part of my brain in an impenetrable fortress.

I remember when I was a child and when I watched the Sun set behind the tree line at the farm. Like a giant heated orb of molten metal it glowed before the hammer struck it out. A halo of clouds elliptically orbited above it in the shape of an eye – and the colors of its last breath danced on the cerulean canvas. Imagining today as it lives in the day, dies in the evening and is reborn in the shadow of the dawn, which separates one heaven from the others sitting at the pinnacle of heaven as Elohim sits in the night writing his plans and decrees, envisioning it free because of its flight.

Teachers quickly corrected this mode of thinking when they taught me astronomy. They told me that due to its mass and gravity the Sun is held in place in outer space. The illusion of its death and resurrection are due to the Earth’s rotation and orbit around the Sun and the Sun’s power comes from the nuclear explosions from within its core. The teachers didn’t understand that this was my way of being free. The Sun was my symbol of freedom though I knew nothing of it. It is one thing to know nothing of freedom because you can feel it, but to know nothing of the symbol that you use to describe it is a serious pitfall.

Woods and Union

Another thing that was freeing was my love for the woods beyond the privacy fence that bordered the ten-acre plot, the ability to run faster than the fat bastard that followed, and the ability to best him in the terrain if he dared to enter it.

From the fifth grade to the eighth grade I had thought about suicide at least fifteen times, tried to run away five times, tried to fight the fat bastard more than twice. So, when I was in trouble I would hide in the thick, brier-filled woods. When he went to bed, I would sneak into the house to eat, bathe, and go to sleep.

When I was thirteen, I could tell that their union was in trouble and I was finally breaking free from the hell that I was living in. they didn’t admit to anything, but when you see your step-father taking out a thousand dollars from his personal account, you start to question his motives.

There was freedom in the woods. It was just as much my sanctuary as it was for those that lived there. That and his fat ass couldn’t make it through the narrow gap in the fence. Even if he made it through there, he still had to make it through a three-foot thick wall of thorny bushes and vines.

The Farm

While I was learning history at Augusta University I began to realize that my freedom had to be fought for. To gain it, you must isolate yourself from the tyrant and wage war. It was then that I learned that you have to trade a few liberties for different liberties and make the bargain as bearable as possible.

My grandparents began to see what was going on and took me in to go to high school. As long as I worked on the farm without complaint, I would be allowed to stay there. Readjusting my ideas of freedom was becoming bothersome, but at least I was free from the tyrant of the last house. I was used to being the real man of the house, and was used to taking care of myself, now I could pick-up where I left off in my childhood and let my individuality shine. However, I have been able to unleash a good amount of my intelligence. All the limitations of the farm were put on me yet I still feel free. Why? I felt free in my limitations because my freedom came with the commitment that I made.

Future Plans

From the previous explication, my idea of complete freedom has been complicated. Every time I was offered freedom it was taken away. The people who hold it are like herdsmen holding hay in a crowd of cattle only to lead them to the slaughter-house. The cattle never taste the hay. I am left to wonder if the hay would have tasted good anyways. I am told that I am free to come and go as I pleased and then restrictions are placed and I am called from my home to go back to work. In this I have found that distancing yourself from those who cause you pain is a maneuver that needs to be made for the sake of your own sanity.

As a maturing adult I have found that the need for a real job is needed now more than ever. Every time I get the freedom from my old job that I would like, my old job keeps trying to pull me back. I was torn at that point. I was torn between my quitting my old job, and getting my life on the road for the love of my life and working there for the last summer. They said they would pay me a little under minimum wage, but I need real money. I plan to ask my girlfriend to marry me either by this summer or this December.

Cassie is my best friend and I want to give her my best; that’s what she deserves. Therefore, I will need a job that will pay me a minimum of a thousand a month. Wedding rings and weddings themselves are not cheap, so I need to go out into the real world and find a new job so I can be with my freedom. Cassie is my new symbol of freedom. She is my best friend, my love, my happiness, and my freedom. She is my everything; she deserves my best.

Choice

On the weekend of my birthday, we drove to the Green Way in South Carolina. We walked for an hour and came to rest on a floating dock. I looked around and noticed that the water level was higher than it normally was. The tops of bushes and parts of uprooted trees provided a safe haven for songbirds and turtles. I followed the churning torrent until my eyes caught glimpse of an oak. Planted deeply in the supersaturated soil was a massive oak. It stood there as if nothing happened; it was defiant and unmoved. It had tufts of green leaves filling the branches to maximum capacity.

My only thoughts were… Will my commitments consume me, or will I break the curse of bondage and stand defiantly for what I need? May my insatiable appetite for freedom finally be stabilized and satisfied.

Freedom’s Embrace

Freedom is whatsoever you make it to be. Why? Freedom is a thing of the mind. It is an abstract concept that gives power to a human construct, or takes it away. Human will is free will and with free comes the power to push the limits of our minds. Whatever a man thinks, he wills, and a man enacts his will to the availability of his freedom. Therefore, freedom is a thing of the will and because freedom is a thing of the will, freedom is a thing of the mind. Since freedom has been established as a thing of the mind, freedom is what you make of it.

Today I woke up to see the love of my life as she was getting ready for work. She woke me up and led me into the kitchen after I got dressed. On the stove was a casserole pan and a cup-cake sheet full of German Chocolate cake. My favorite. It clicked that today was my birthday and I was totally surprised. I am twenty-four and am free in the since of my vision. Are you?

The Key

Be defiant, stand your ground, and understand; freedom never was, never is and never will be free. It requires sacrifice, and most times must be taken by force through sheer will and guts.

social commentaryinspirational
2

About the Creator

Aaron Loftin

Hi,

My name is Aaron Loftin and I just married the love of my life. I am graduating from Augusta University on August 8, 2017 with a BA in history and a minor in professional writing. In 2021 I reached my goal becoming a history teacher.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

Aaron Loftin is not accepting comments at the moment

Want to show your support? Send them a one-off tip.

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.