Is It You?

Is it you they stalk

As a passerby you walk

Is it at you they look

As if you were an item

To have been took

Are you in the dark

With loud words they bark

One too many of sixteen

Happenings behind closed doors

Remained unseen

Too young to fight

Remaining out of sight

The outsiders looking in

Saying it's too absurd

Leaving survivors stories

Left unheard

They tried to keep my silence

Little did they know

I was stronger than their violence

To this day I have still questioned my worth

Although I may have had it rough

I still press forth

Because I know I am good enough.

Be an Advocate/Be an Activist

I wrote this poem while preparing for an open mic night, where survivors get together and share their stories. Not only did I get to hear some powerful topics and words, I also experienced the true definition of not being alone. At the time most of the others' stories left me pondering on thoughts like, "Is she reading my diary?" "Wow, that sounds so much like me."

I then started to ponder on thoughts of how heartbreaking and frustrating it is to hear all of these survivors' stories, basically the fact I had my hands tied. This is when I decided to make a campaign for the survivors who are silenced. So this is me being real with you through a one-on-one perspective: We need to start standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves. We need to start speaking up for those who have been silenced. Ultimately we need to start educating society about consent, sexual violence, physical violence, emotional, and mental violence.

The #1 Way to Make a Change

The number one way to make a change is to show others that not owning up to actions and choices can lead to bigger implications later on in their lifetime. Even if it's something as simple as saying, "I'm sorry for _________." The reason I say this is because more often than not responsibility isn't taken; therefore, what example are you showing your peers when you lie and say that wasn't you getting into your car, even though, you were too drunk to do so. Or it's not a big deal, she was passed out so I took the opportunity....

Most guys in this position would say the opportunity to have sex with her, when in reality it's the opportunity to sexually assault her. If we as a society don't start owning up to the actions, then we might as well be saying sexual assault is also okay.

The #2 Way to Continue The Change

Educate people on what consent is. Be aware of some questions that may pop up from others or confused facial expressions. If you don't know what consent is, I'll describe it in the best way possible....

You're driving a car right, and the light suddenly changes from a yellow to a red. You slam on your breaks to avoid oncoming traffic. You're waiting until the light turns green because it will be safe to cross the intersection. Consent is the same—if it's a red it's a complete no, if it's a yellow it's a proceed with caution but check in frequently, and if it's a green then it's a full, enthusiastic, coherent, sober, and conscious yes.

With this said, just because the other person says yes doesn't mean that the person doesn't have the right to revoke that yes. The people who are unable to consent are by law incapacitated, disabled, or there's a significant presence of fear in the room, meaning the fight/flight/freeze response. If he/she isn't able to consent, says anything but a yes, says yes while under the influence, or isn't talking at all and you still proceed, that's sexual assault.

The #3 Way to Complete the Change

The final way to finalize the change is to break the silence. Start up an awareness group, volunteer at an advocacy center, start your own campaign, or break the silence by simply offering to teach about the causes and harm it does for survivors to not be heard. If you encounter survivors through face-to-face contact, the best way to handle the situation is to hear out their story and make them feel believed. If they know you see them and hear them as the human being they are; rather, than being treated like what they're saying is absurd and foreign, it will not only help survivors feel seen and heard; they'll feel believed.

The best way to prevent sexual assault is to be an active bystander, if you see something that looks like it could be bad; say something. If you are the only responsible party there and it would do you no good to say something; then do something. The best example to provide is the party scene, suppose you are the only D.D. (Designated Driver) on sight. Meaning you're responsible for everyone at the party getting home safely, and further meaning you are also responsible for their safety. Say your best friend wants to "bang" this incapacitated "hot chick." You know it's wrong, and your best friend is wasted. So, you try to reason with him, and he's not having it. Being that the rest of your friends have either had someone else pick them up or crashed at your place, you take your best friend home; because it's the best way to prevent sexual assault from happening.

Another party scenario would be when your female bestfriend wants to go home with a guy she just met and is too intoxicated to make judgement. Then you should tell her to sleep on it and to get his phone number. And finally you would drive her home.

Regardless of how both scenarios would have ended up say you didn't intervene, being an active bystander is the right choice to make every single time.