Is It My Fault?

my eyes widen,

full of fear and dreadful tears,

if you look closely you might see,

what you can not unsee.

i take a deep breath,

hold it,

feel it,

suffocation.

my heart beats fast,

almost as fast as my thoughts,

was it my fault?

did i do something wrong?

am i the one to blame? or is it just my paranoid thoughts?

am i an attention seeker? or do i just fake my anxiety attacks?

is it really my fault? or is it yours?

i wouldn't wish it upon anyone else,

so why do i deserve it?

"it will stop" they say.

but you can't change what's in your dna.