Invisible Movement

I took a plunge into the deep end where the cyclical patterns and trauma swim steadily in the dark.

No, I didn’t have a flashlight.

This is a place where movement transcends the physical.

They say I’m steady, that it all looks smooth.

What they don’t know is I’m always paving,

Paving a road that doesn’t exist.

I’m always digging,

Digging and excavating through the grey matter of my mind,

Of our minds.

It’s invisible

They don’t see the whisking of my breath and thoughts.

They don’t see the devilishly dancing emotions.

The emotions,

That strap me tight to a wave like a piece of algae.

Undulating up and down, forwards and backwards,

Where the only moment of stillness,

Is that half-second at the crest.

The emotions

That sweep me high to the Stratus,

and drag me back down through the Mantle.

I feel a headrush and my stomach drop

The roller coaster ride loses its charm.

Stop.

I need to get off.

I have emotion-sickness.