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In My Mind

I wade through the frigid waters of my thoughts.

Photo Credit: Nick Scheerbart on Unsplash

I wade through the frigid waters of my thoughts.

The murky liquid swirls around my boots,
lapping at my waist.
It wants to swallow me.
I know it wants to swallow me.
What I don’t know, is if it wants to swallow me whole and numb
or tear and mash me up, painfully, as I lose feelings limb by limb.

As I wade, I find things lost but not forgotten.
Star Wars action figures, toy rockets, and a cheap replica astronaut helmet full of shattered dreams,
the dying breaths of which fog up the glass.
I find old chemistry reports, razor blades, and diary entries,
next to used people and unused condoms.

There’s a flash, and I glance up;
Thunder strikes and the Heavens open their eyes,
recovering from the blinding light,
only for tears to rush out in downpour.
I remember what I am here for,
and the water clears,
the rain lightening as the clouds are comforted by my certainty.
It will not swallow me.
I will not let it swallow me.
There is no fear for the one whose thought is not confused.

. . .

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Read next: Mother to Child
Riel Redwolf
Riel Redwolf

Hey, I'm Ri. I write things. Care to join me?

I'm pagan, neurodivergent, pansexual, afab genderfluid, and polyamorous. Expect me to write about it.

Profile image by Dylan Hikes on Unsplash, edited by me

Banner image by Celso on Unsplash

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In My Mind
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